Hmmm… I was planning to write a list: Things I am in Denial About.
But almost immediately I hit a snag – if I already know something is an issue for me, then I’m not really in denial about it, am I? I may be deliberately ignoring it, refusing to deal with it, actively going out of my way to avoid it – but denial? Doesn’t the act of acknowledgement kind of refute the denial part?
I mean, I know I have an emotional eating problem – I’ve had it for years. When I’m stressed and/ or upset, I tend to comfort myself by overeating. I’ve tried lots of different approaches to dealing with it over my lifetime, but here I am at 53, still with an emotional eating problem. Unfortunately, simply knowing it doesn’t always fix it.
I learned a long time ago to swallow my disappointments in life, and habitually I swallow them down with a little sweetener along the way – my reward for being a good girl, for keeping quiet, for not rocking the boat, for being ‘nice’, and sadly I still find that old habits die hard…