Thinking a lot about work just now. I’ve always been more of a work-to-live rather than a live-to-work kind of girl. I’ve never had any clear career aspirations, a vocation, or even felt particularly passionate about any of the many different jobs I’ve done over the years. I’ve worked variously in retail, in healthcare, in hospitality, and in both the civil service and education sectors in several different roles – whatever was available that fit in with my family needs at the time.
I’m currently working part time in a local pub, and although for the first couple of years I really enjoyed going to work, over the last couple I’ve really begun to feel miserable at the thought of starting each shift. As managers move on and change, inevitably the pub changes too. Staff get fed up and move on, regular customers grumble and complain and eventually they move on too, dissatisfied. I’ve got to the point where I no longer feel I belong and so also feel the need to move on, but the question is, to where?
So I dropped in to another local pub (a modern shabby-chic vintage-style bar which is currently advertising online for staff) this afternoon on the off-chance to ask what hours and what shift patterns might be available, but the two young men behind the bar were exceedingly vague about it all. Hipsters in hats with bushy beards and trendy T-shirts who even cumulatively have clearly been on this planet for a lot less time than me. They politely suggested uploading my cv anyway but… Their shrugged shoulders said it all.
I guess I already know that the plain truth is at 54 I’m just too old for my face to fit in a place like that. And I know from experience that my weary old bones (along with the daily drip-drip of depleting energy levels) certainly struggle to keep up with people thirty years my junior. The thing is, it’s made me wonder if any job role is viable for me in quite the same way it used to be. In spite of many people – usually young people – telling me that age is just a number, I beg to differ. My body is starting to feel old, and it truly pains me to admit it…