Daily Prompt: Agile

At fifty-four I’m not anywhere near as agile as I used to be, and I haven’t yet fully got my head around that sadly indisputable fact. I do recognise that some everyday things I used to do without a second thought I struggle a bit more with these days – even simple things like straightening up again after picking something up off the floor, or getting off the sofa quickly, or opening jars. I can still do it, but more slowly and a lot less elegantly, and not without a few creaking complaints from my painful stiffening joints.

I still feel a bit resistant to accepting my new reality – sheer stubbornness I suppose. I was exactly the same with my declining eyesight, it took me such a long time to accept that I really needed reading glasses. Part of my problem with accepting the gradual reduction of free movement in my joints is probably down to the fact I’ve been experiencing a lot of temporary joint pains over the last few years as part of my ongoing menopausal symptoms – and however extreme it got on each individual occasion, it always passed in time.

But although the ebb and flow of those random here today, gone tomorrow fluctuating hormonal aches and pains have almost totally subsided now, the ever-present difficulty with strength and suppleness and everyday movement in my hips and my hands has remained problematic. I’m not at all impressed. My husband has suggested it’s time I saw my GP again, and I have to admit, however grudgingly, that he’s right. I have had frequent mechanical issues with my right hip over the years, so I may indeed be in need of another physiotherapy referral.

To be honest, though, deep down it’s the constant aches and pains in my hands that concern me most. I do work hard to keep my basic range of movement going as best as I can, but my fine motor skills are definitely losing their delicate touch. I can see I’m getting old lady hands, wrinkly skin with liver spots and knobbly joints, and right now they hurt all the time. Sometimes they’re swollen, sometimes not, but either way I’m permanantly aware of my hands, and even when lying in bed resting I feel them throbbing, and it’s getting me down.

I don’t feel at all ready to exchange feeling agile for fragile, but ignoring it all and just getting on with life doesn’t seem to be working for me any more. So like it or not it’s time I admitted defeat and made an appointment. I really don’t like making a fuss, but it’s really beginning to get in the way of enjoying life, and is causing me problems at work, so  I guess needs must… sigh!

Daily Prompt: Agile 


JusJoJan: Aggravate

I find the erratic changes in temperature between outside and inside during the winter months really aggravates my current trigger-happy tendency towards menopausal hot flushes at every turn. If I wrap up suitably warm to go out I get too hot and I’ll have a hot sweat, but if I don’t dress correctly for the inclement weather I get too cold and start shivering and… yep, you guessed it, still have a hot sweat as my temperature tries unsuccessfully to regulate itself. When oh when is my dodgy bodily thermostat going to start functioning properly again, its illogical idiosyncracies are driving me nuts… 🙂

JusJoJan: Aggravate

Hormones, Headaches & Hot Flushes

Earlier this year I’d hoped my menopausal hot flushes were becoming more and more infrequent and finally fading away as my female hormone levels depleted further, but although I’ve probably had a good six months or so without experiencing much thermostatic discomfort at all I’m recently finding myself having annoyingly regular hot flushes again. Not as bad or happening as often as before, but they are proving to be exceedingly irksome nonetheless.

I so dislike that uncomfortably sticky feeling of being saturated head to toe in a slick sheen of salty sweat regardless of external temperatures. Even my hair roots feel soaked and errant droplets trickle ticklishly down my spine. When I first feel the flush racing through me I try to strip off as much as I can for the duration in an attempt to cool off – not possible to do at work – but even at home there is generally little relief to be had. And as the dank dampness dries off my skin soon starts to itch all over, adding a further external dimension to my already surging internal irritation.

And as if that wasn’t enough to contend with, a flurry of frequent hot flushes inevitably coincides with an increase in hormonally-charged headaches, leaving me hot and bothered and grumpy – not a pleasant combination. I can’t help but wonder if my glaring stress levels are linked somehow to my flaring hormone levels, because it’s as if the more my stress has built up, the more my hormones have been playing up, too…

As with everything else going on in life at the moment, I know that this situation too shall pass, but oh how I wish it would all just hurry the hell up and get on with it! 🙂

Daily Prompt: Snack


Today’s nibbly snack-based lunch… smoked ham, chorizo, cheese, olives, and tomato with ground black pepper 🙂

I’m trying hard just now to make a conscious effort to make healthier food choices, especially as I’m not only an emotional eater but also one of life’s natural grazers, so I have to be really careful not just to be cramming in a constant conveyor-belt of high fat and sugar options without really thinking about it.

The thing is, I do love lots of different foods, not just sweet stuff and deep-fried stuff, so I’m trying hard to move my focus from indulging my emotional needs to tempting my tastebuds with alternative flavours and textures to enjoy. I need to break some pretty long-standing overeating habits though, so it’s not going to be easy.

My middle-aged spread is making itself far too much at home for my liking, especially now I’ve hit menopause – I don’t want to resign myself to being fat and unfit for life just because I’m in my mid-fifties. So I’m just taking it all one day at a time for now, and I’ll see how it goes…  🙂

Daily Prompt: Snack


Daily Prompt: Symptom

Since my female hormone levels have at last fallen through the floor, my uncomfortable peri-menopausal symptoms have finally dissipated to an easily manageable level once more. My hot flushes and night sweats have all but disappeared, my hormone headaches have subsided substantially, and I’m actually sleeping properly again – hooray!

Sad though I feel in once sense that my reproductive years are well and truly over, in another sense I’m delightfully relieved to be able to sit comfortably in my skin once more, sleep soundly in my bed again, and thankfully find myself feeling infinitely lighter and brighter in my head and heart ❤

Daily Prompt: Symptom

Daily Prompt: Blur

Final Bow…

As menopause takes one last curtain call

Dramatic hormones exit from stage left

Such bittersweet regret holds me in thrall

Old hopes of ‘one more baby’ quite bereft

Fertility has lost its early glow

No longer bathed in lime-light, cast aside

Youth’s pregnant pauses ended long ago –

No more life’s leading-lady, ripe with pride

Theatrical hysterics fought this change

Of back-stage blur replacing spot-light fame

But though my aging body now feels strange

A peaceful calm flows deeply through each vein

And reproductive life, with final bow

Makes way for brand new role, beginning now…

Daily Prompt: Blur

Daily Prompt: Aware

I’m someone who’s always been acutely aware of how I’m feeling at any given moment – sometimes that’s a good thing, sometimes it’s just too much to bear. Recently I’ve been finding myself sinking deeper and deeper into a sea of infinite sadness, an overwhelming ocean of utter flatness that threatens to engulf me, one aching heartbeat at a time…

It seems my female hormone levels, almost permanantly erratic with peri-menopausal undulations for the last few years, have finally given up the ghost and dropped off the bottom of the scale at last. No more hot flushes or night sweats, no more angry outbursts at the smallest provocation, no more emotional rollercoastering from delightful highs to desperate lows in two seconds flat, just the promise of flat dry desert stretching forward as far into the future as I can see…

It feels a bit like the calm after, rather than before, the storm. I’m sure I’ll get used to it soon enough, but for now I feel wearily empty, scarily vulnerable and lost, and completely unsure of what or how I’ll be feeling next…

Daily Prompt: Aware

Limerick Challenge: Antonyms

The hot and heavy night-time adventures of a long-suffering sleep-deprived middle-aged menopausal woman 🙂


Night sweats cover my skin head to toe

Damp sheets cast off above and below

Yet another hot flush

Drenches me in a rush

Leaves me both hot and cold in one go



I wake early but go to sleep late

Not my choice but my hormonal fate

Such insomnia plays

Havoc with nights and days

Deep exhaustion my permanent state


Limerick Challenge: Antonyms