Oh my God, Linda has given us a prompt word this week that we have to not use in our post – nooooo…! I’m so not good at those sort of things – tell me not to use a word, or not to think of something, and suddenly it’s writ large in my head, flashing neon on a giant bill-board and repeating itself on a growing-louder-by-the-minute loop like an echoing woodpecker in perpetual motion, setting my teeth on edge like finger-nails scraping down a blackboard… but I can resist… I am strong… I am immobile, not a hint of movement… awww, dammit – told you I was no use at this! 🙂
Occasionally I see a stream of consciousness prompt and know exactly where I’m going with it, sparks flying and firing on all cylinders, words all revved up and raring to go. Sadly this is not one of those fast-flowing days – today’s paltry effort is fuelled by futile stop-start ideas that can only be described as decidedly low-octane… 🙂
This week Linda has charged us with picking up the nearest readable thing to us and using the the sixth, seventh and eighth words on the first page as our prompt. So I found next to me the latest copy of Psychologies Magazine, and decided to skip the listed contents pages and start from the first proper page of prose – the editor’s letter. And the sixth, seventh and eighth words from the top of the page it gives me are ‘I love January’…
Hmmm… well, love may be a bit of a strong word, but January certainly has its benefits for me, the most important one being it’s no longer December. I struggle so hard with December, too many auspicious days full of expectation and fragile emotions and potential failure. My birthday comes first, right at the beginning of the month, then the anniversary of my overdose, then Christmas, then culminating in the crescendo of New Year and all it promises.
And then comes the joy of reaching January – what a relief. No resolutions for me, just a month of quiet contemplation and restful silence, time to catch my breath and relax again. A quiet new year with quiet new hope of spring growth pushing through after another long hard winter of the soul, and actually once I start looking at it that way – what’s not to love? ❤
You’ll be lucky to get much coherent sense out of me today, I had a really busy, hectic shift at work yesterday and will no doubt have an even busier, hectic shift at work tomorrow – such are the joys or working in a London pub over the Christmas and New Year period, it really is the gift that never stops giving!
I’m not the most Christmassy of people at the best of times, but this year I’m trying really hard to be less ‘Bah Humbug’ about it all so instead of focusing on the Christian religious festival I’m going even further back to consider investing more in the traditional Yuletide celebrations of the winter solstice.
I really like the idea of decorating my home with evergreens like holly and mistletoe, of having candles and clove-studded fruit and nuts and spices and suchlike strewn around to symbolise the natural wonders of this time of year and give thanks for the new seasonal cycle of life about to begin.
Maybe this might be the best way for me to celebrate the season going forward – not to pretend to join in with the capitalist commercialisation of Christmas, or even the Christian hi-jacking of old Yuletide traditions but to find my own way through with a more thoughtful and peaceful festival of my own choosing?
I could go on and on here, going round and round in circles wittering away and working things out in my head and on the hoof, but instead I’ll take a leaf out of Yul Brynner’s famous portrayal of the King of Siam in ‘The King an I’ and leave you all with his immortal phrase, ‘Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…’ 🙂
Today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday rambling was brought to you by the fabulous prompt words ‘Yule, You’ll, Yul’…
My first memory of the concept of contrast was from a Ladybird book I always loved, the story of Snow White and Rose Red. Not the well-known Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, but the old traditional fairytale of sisters Snow White and Rose Red. Snow White was fair-haired and quiet and favoured being indoors and wore a white dress, while Rose Red was dark-haired and vivacious in a ruby-red dress and loved nothing more than being outdoors exploring in nature.
Even as a little girl the dramatic contrast between the two sisters puzzled me and pulled me agonisingly in two, lurching between either end of the spectrum – did I prefer Snow White or Rose Red? It always seemed to me that the meeker, gentler stay-at-home Snow White was portrayed as the ideal of femininity, especially as she won the main prince as her husband, whereas the more boistrous and robust Rose Red with her confident wanderlust had to settle for marrying the prince’s brother – who presumably was also a prince, but not the heir apparent?
Even then I recognised some of me within each sister, and I suppose even at the age of fifty-four a small part of me is still pulled between wanting to be each in turn, or more often than not struggling to be both at the same time… 🙂
Oooh what fun, Linda has given us partial word ‘liqu’ to use for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, and today’s Daily Prompt word is ‘degree’ so I thought – hmmm… how can I link them together in one post?
Degrees made me think of angles, of being acute or obtuse or right angles, and then I thought of things neither being parallel or at right angles to each other but oblique – and suddenly I’ve linked both words, so will stop while the going’s good… 🙂
This week I’m asking myself, why did I ever get myself involved in Stream of Consciousness writing? I mean, I know participation is always voluntary, every post is done of my own volition, and there is such a lot of freedom in creating a piece of free-form writing each week evolving entirely from one prompt word or idea. Posts can be voluble, volatile, revolutionary, and as convoluted as I like. And yet… here I am, stuck for something sensible to say, with whole volumes of nothing echoing endlessly around in my head… 🙂
‘When’ is one of those tricky little words that fills me equally with hope and despair.
How may times in my life have I thought along the lines of ‘When I leave school…’, ‘When I grow up…’, ‘When I meet the love of my life…’, ‘When I have kids…’, ‘When I lose weight…’ and pretended to myself that when all these ‘whens’ are reached my life will really begin, I’ll be happy, or whatever the desired consequence of each particular ‘when’ condition may be… So that’s the hope part.
But the trouble is, I sometimes become so engrossed in looking forward to the imagined perfection of the illusory ‘when’ situation that I lose sight of where I’m at right now and instead of focusing actively on celebrating what I already have in my life all I can see is the passive promise of what I don’t have yet, and that leads all too easily to despair…
Apparently tonight from 11pm onwards should bring us our best opportunity to see the Perseid Meteor Shower, weather permitting. Apparently it’s something to do with the earth passing through a debris cloud from the Swift-Tuttle comet, which happens every year. And thankfully it does seem from the forecast for later on that weather in our part of the world does indeed permit. Hooray!
However, it has also been suggested that to have the best chance of experiencing the meteor shower, you should find a vantage point out on a wide open space as far away from buildings and trees as possible. Oh, and with not too much light. Bummer – we live in London, surrounded by buildings and/ or trees and where the light pollution is undeniably atrocious. And to cap it all, the moon is pretty bright just now – a 75% waning gibbous, to be exact.
Still, my husband and I have decided provisionally to venture out later tonight onto Wanstead Flats near to where we live, which is the nearest thing to a wide open space we have, and take pot-luck on the light pollution situation. We may see something exciting, or we may see nothing much at all. The odds do seem to be stacked against us, but we can always plan a nice romantic walk together and just see what happens…
Although of course it cannot be denied that the biggest potential barrier of all to us seeing any meteor shower may be less to do with prevailing conditions outside, and more to do with particular conditions inside our flat, namely the level of comfort afforded by our sofa at that time of night. So at the moment, at 6pm, I’d say there’s probably a fifty-fifty chance of me actually getting off my ass and out into the night to view any potential meteor shower.
But how I might be feeling by 11pm, and whether or not we actually make it out of doors as planned, is anybody’s guess… 🙂
Yeah I know I’m a day late with this post, but I was just too tired last night to make any real sense – me rambling on while firing on all four cylinders is bad enough, but when I’m suffering from brain-drain even I don’t understand myself what I’m trying to say!
Anyway, Linda’s prompt for this week is to use the title of whatever book we’re reading and write a post linked to the title. I’m currently reading ‘Pretending to Dance’ by Diane Chamberlain, and the title most definitely reminds me (with a wry smile and a chuckling laugh) of the latest ‘dancing’ I’ve done, with my young grandchildren, in front of their TV.
My youngest daughter lives in a house right in front of a bus stop, which is really handy when catching a bus but must cause a bit of amusement to any passengers who happen to glance out of the bus window in passing. Because although from the outside no-one can see my grandchildren dancing about below the level of the window, they can certainly see me, fully-framed by the lovely picture window dancing like a maniac, apparently all alone.
The thing with my grandchildren is that in spite of their fierce concentration on their own moves, they also expect full particiption from everyone involved and so check frequently that I am indeed joining in properly. No pretending is tolerated – it’s real dancing or nothing! And you know what – it’s such fun! I don’t care how silly I look, playing with my grandchildren in whatever way they choose is one of the best feelings in the world… ❤
PS My three-year-old grandson’s current favourite dance tune is Gangnam Style, and yes he knows all the moves, and yes, he expects me to know them too… sigh! So whatever crazy visions of the scene you may have conjured up in your head, however over-the-top and ungainly they may be, double it and you’re almost there 🙂